I'm not always a Godly wife.

Update: I wrote this blog post over a year ago and today when I put on my Proverbs 31 Wifey shirt I was reminded of this post I wrote so long ago and found myself curious if it were still in my drafts along with all the other post that never got published...well here it is! Even then had stewed over it for days...and now years lol!

Before I begin I have to say I have sat on this post for a few days now worried about the perception those reading may have on my marriage and relationship. Thinking that we were experiencing hardships or trouble within...to which we are not at all, actually we are completely opposite of that! I am posting this not because I am trying to win back my husband or make myself look terrible to the general public but rather to explain that I feel, even when I am a decent wife, there is always room for improvement, just as there is always room for growth in your faith and within your relationship no matter how great things may be between you and your spouse. Ok so here goes nothing...

I am going to let you in on a little secret of mine. Fearful as I type, I know this is the only way I am going to stay true to myself and also stay true to the changes I am making. That being said, here it is...I am not always a very good wife. 

Perhaps I could find a better word other than bad but what better way to explain the cold hard truth than to just throw it out there! 

Now before you go casting stones please let me explain, I love my husband with all my heart, the same exact way I did three (now four) years ago when I said I do at the alter. In no way, shape, or form would I ever want to jepordize the marriage and relationship that we have! I also have never nor will ever cheat on my husband and this doesn't limit itself to also not flirting with others, speaking with opposite sex about matters that open doors to attraction, or wanting attention from the opposite sex. No, none of these things are what make me a bad wife, as I don't partake in any of it. For that matter I don't even put myself in a position for any of those things to happen.

What I am recently realizing is I don't have to be a cheater or liar to be a bad wife....I have found myself not treating my husband with respect and/or not treating him the way God has intended for a wife to treat her husband, that is what makes me a bad wife. In marriage counseling prior to our wedding we learned about all the ways to love your spouse. I took serious note on being a submissive wife and loving my husband unconditionally and submissively. Somehow along the way, as in every way, I have lost track of my submissiveness. I have lost tract of my actions and words and in return I have lost some of that respect that I once showed. Of course this was all unintentional but the fact is, it's happened. I have always wanted to lead a Godly life by living my life in a way that the Lord would want me to and with that I have always wanted to be a Godly wife as I was in the beginning. I intend to set out and acheive my goal of getting back to the wife I once was, before the struggles, before the kids, and before I lost track of myself by showing my husband disrespect. That means I am going to work extra hard to treat Daniel the way God wants me to treat my husband. I know it will be a long road learning how to keep myself in check and not spit out the first thoughts that come to mind when in a disagreement, nor will it be easy to always uphold myself to treating him with the most respect...but I will find a way! No I'm not the perfect wife! But then again I don't have intention to be. I only want to be the wife God intended me to be and the wife that my husband deserves! 

I want to be the wife as Proverbs 31 explains in the bible. I want to be a wife of noble character, I want to bring him good, not harm, I want to speak with wisdom not disrespect, I want faith instruction to speak, and I want to feareth the Lord and to be praised. All these things are just a few of what would paint the picture of a virtuous woman. I will work towards changing myself and my actions today! 

God has blessed me with an amazing man who loves my unconditionally even on my worst days when I'm in my worst mood. 

Today is the day! 

Xoxo- Daniel's wifey:)

Side note: I am still to this day working to improve my submissiveness to my husband and daily work on being the wife that God intended for me to be! Without him I will be nothing more than a Mrs.